Today I cried.
Very unlike me, I am not a 'cryer', but today I couldn't stop.
I cried waiting for the train.
I cried at the hospital (so much so that the nurses put me in my own waiting room because they said it wouldn't do for people to see me so upset - odd I thought.)
I cried as they did the insemination and I cried all the way home.
I want to know how my life ended up with me waiting, on my own, in a decrepit train station, going to a crumby hospital, for an insemination that probably won't work?
Lonely isn't the word, desperate seems more fitting.
1 comment:
Wish there was something to say that would make it all better, but of course, there isn't. What you are embarking on is so overwhelming and even more so to be doing it alone...but are you really ALL alone? You mentioned a sister on your blog...who else is there and will be there, to help you raise your child? I am willing to bet that there are lots of friends/family that will be there for you and with you, if you let them be. Try to keep your perspective here -- nothing lasts forever and just because 'HE' isn't here now, doesn't mean 'HE' won't be here someday. Life is funny that way...you really just never know when something or someone unexpected will appear.
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